Prototype—HRFish remembrance jersey… this stupid disease..Cancer. personal now.
Warmth on one's face. Sun.
I know I wanted to better the world with bipartisan hockey but people go to see fights. I also wanted to warn others of scam artists out there who take not only funds but a person's mind and heart turn them into something completely different as has happened oened to me but again that's a tall order.
But I can say to the world this man who put up with quite alot—- tubes multiple procedures over the last few years just to gain as much time as he could with his children. Last year was the most I ever lived. Travels. Hockey games scoping arenas and attendee behaviors seeing the good and bad in America 25 states in one year spreading my dad in 24 of em.
All because of death and divorce did that happen. He got ten good months of much solo parenting. True I wonder if that taxed his body and how the once hormone contained cancer creeped and spread…I do blame if that is why he finally succumbed but we became friends again. Got space. Appreciated the other more. Missed my hormone kicking in hoodlum kids and he was happy to have house and yard help when I returned..liked being Mr.Mom..then he died. His light is still here and maybe someday in hockey world lil luminous lights will glow for him. Until then I have challenge of keeping us where he left us..though my graduating kid is open to RV life…yes….we did build a home for them so I should try to keep it without his 6 figure pay as best as one can…
So Rags To Ragnorak Studio getting rid of much of my clothes paintings to go with color themes so as even teen girls can support my kiddo in practical ways. Reduced to rags in ways but thats ok. Last year was awesome. Best I ever had. Now its the HRFish Artisan Child Fund let's see when house is organized and what I'm finding death is in our culture. Inventory not ones deeds, intents or purpose is as he lived for 84 years but what government or other establishments is your worth- material possessions. OK. Because I have a bit to sell.
I know I need help with these squares space websites but I'm piling more on my plate starting Alora a Go Fund Me.
Kick back some to cancer…my kiddos main source of bread you stole away….let's see how my version of Dash auctions can fare see if we can't make this fair
To Prevent Danger Getting Through
Water…is Life I saw that spray painted on a bridge in Moab….His children were his greatest assets….My heart knew he was to be a dad his head said no with 33 year age difference but I knew….this picture was I'm guessing at Gun Lake…one play we had.
Drum Beat
You Talk To Us
With The Drumbeat Of Your Heart
Each Night We Talk
Each Morning Too
Your Mom And I
Are So Loving You
Your Mom Awaits Each
Move You Make
To Show You Are Awake
Your Dad With Gentle Hand Does Wait
To Feel The Gentle Rolls
And Kicks You Take
As One Precious Becomes Two
We Guard And Protect
To Prevent Danger Getting Through
Your Mom And I Are So
Loving You
Harland 8/06
He wrote this my roomy as he was expecting his first child. I knew meeting him to pet sit IN 1998 THAT he was to have children hearing at 58 years old he had none.
So 7 years delayed our age difference deterred him from believing in the impractical children losing a parent estly me not having one my own age to age with until he nearly lost me moving on….sometimes it is the near miss that brings appreciation and so we tried but I don't fit society's role such titles of domestication bring…so I got my freedom traveled got space for us to heal and just be or become that which can should or could be a Family…our way.
It was the best thing I ever did….my settlement restart meant to restart a life I spent ten months on the road often with several phones full of 40,000 photos and videos to document how one can heal a parents death, 17 year marriage allowed us with a divorce to get space, see what the other knew he had such awe remembering Redwoods his eyes and voice I knew my hope to already to visit with my dad’s ashes was not a moment to miss while he got to experience what role I had rearing the children as he took over. If we had remained married to remain just married never would we had become friends again nor our children to get so much in depth one on one with him developing aggressive cancer not even a year from our divorce. I was there for the tumor surgery. We had not liked the negative vibe referring as an ex spouse so we dubbed each other as roommates but the day he died….our 17 year old said in the hospital parking lot having to leave his physical body there I was more like a wife at his life ending. So last week the conservatory judge stating out loud why didnt I remarry. My response is why would I remarry. On record but heres my feelings. I enjoy my freedom not having to ask if i can get in my truck and go or can we do or not do a social gathering, not having to compromise or lets face it many times men have pursued females not necessarily for who we are our essence but so no other male could possess us.
It took him 7 years of me only dating him on and off (I feel celibacy is empowering) and we maintained as friends when he believed children or marriage was not practical in his advanced years until I tired of waiting not achieving my goal of the 5 kids i wanted and let go. Idea of being a surrogate rolled around my mind to not just have one child conceived at 18. So when attending a clients party a beach bum with a near stuff bear in a tent plush acted out a womb scene it was a surprise to me curiosity that a subject close to me was present and I started to date him. Then it was did my greatest mentor go by a ring after 7 years of waiting and onky dating him. I do feel there can be a time worm hole a nail needs to be hit on the head while fires forged is plenty warm not allowed to cool. But I knew at 25 meeting him who was 58 that children were meant for this man and so we hoped to pull it off. I bow my head to him contemplating to wear his ring he has by his bathroom sink around my neck…our purpose was to be a family. So June 2024 9 months after our divorce and July 2024 we did family vacations staying in one room sometimes. We were more then roommates….so as I had to watch him leave my and our daughters world here….death certificate bears me as his domestic partner for we had become what we started as friends, confidantes talking for hours on road….light a candle in the window Clearwater Credence for I had found my way back home
Riddle. What goes bump in the night middle of the night( pee to be exact) hits a wall takes just a half day rest to start shoveling last weekend. Should've Rollerbladed Friday in the cold presnow it might take a couple more days to heal. Or three weeks and counting.
Just weeks before family unit was changed here's what I wanted this website to do. .be means my talented clay molder kid could find way to plump up funds for college and let her dad retire. Ohhh. That snowblower I wanted to go halves with my ex spouse my roomy on an electric one or snow plow service. With tube's draining his kidneys I wouldn't expect him to be the sole snow blow bloke.
Anyway. That was November. When I wrote my wooden jersey art idea down.
Nothing new. Late start out making meals to ease once it was to help my once roomy (that ex spouse) who battled indeed cancer but lost would have an easier load if I precooked alot of meals for my away for book projects. As best as I can I tried to feed a belly easy peazy no guessing container contents. Sometimes lifes too short to wonder if something is a mystery meat. Hockey 101 in Iowa appearance by female players also had me brave the double standards it is a woman believing in a dream that has her leave yes they are teens but the drone stalkers can manipulate images no doubt…I have yo lead example kids. Fon’t be afraid to hockey after a goal.a dream a purpose. My trips gave us breathing space that created best closure we could have on his death. I missed my kids. He missed me. Appreciated help when I was in between hockey games or events spreading my dad's ashes fir future book generating income. Became friends again in ways so there is that. I miss him. Anyway.
It's late. Now my butt is dragging as the phone to load websites pages. I know. Local paper I submitted an ad that was to come out this morning on my www.hockeygirlup.com website that would have launched ironically getting rid of old for my newest art studio. Somewhat liquidating my once former studio not only freeing up several shelving kits in our basement.
It was after he was gone. I gave our daughter space to be alone not difficult with my bladder you use a restroom as a break….in the emergency department we had been sent to a family waiting room while he was stabilized and briefly then his heart ceased but maybe not his other signs….I wrote about our daughters ship battled upon and read later in a video blog here so to see these boats in the hall he passed amongst -know love exists and shows up in unexpected places…hospital walls or papers that is not so fun to sort….kids. I wonder what I will not cease to show up for you when my heart ceases. Phantom parenting…sounds like my ten months of travels giving them space and more solo bonding time before it was all on me now. It was a great year…so saw much but absence makes heart grow fonder. He missed me…never had to pay for Cruisers monthly insurance after Texas he appreciated my help when I was home…then knowing another trip would not let the kitchen be too crowded from too many cooks it was a good set up we had…and now we chart new waters but I have a gypsy soul so I will be on the road again someday…maybe RV life for me. Who knows what's up for hockey girl up. I guess I'll look for signs.
Seed of bygone days….
Sometimes just keep going is same as hold on.
Earlier today an offspring an offshoot a seedling of mine during school pick up mentioned a tumble weed whata quwinkadink scrolling hru this full storage phone attempts to free space deleting not the best photos I saw the tumbleweed shot not the greatest for it was during my overnight at night stretch. I showed her another plant photo when you know your'e hanging by a thread which she said at this time is how she feels. My photos for books will be different but what would you expect from me whose different not afraid to Owningly show it. Find resonation with you all.
Who wants to see Mjolinar as multimedia art gal (Copy)
Known as recycler and repurposer..I saw a dragon in a paint smear so poof my kids broken dragon found it's way to art not trash.
Point of no hair is to show growth rebuild that which group of scammers had broken the self of me in my head, heart and sorts that apparently exist in society I have to attempt to trust once more.
If I’m found with a twig in hand
Not too far waiting X STREAM arena box office to open was a skate park. No. I did not create urban art here.
I shall have died happy. Which meant my life with such pursuit this practice of steet hockeyball passing (that was a fun way to exercise not having the worst legs at 51) I knew tiniest fleeting of what official players be.
This picture my middle kid liked saying I still look pretty young. That is great but let's face it. How young I feel or behave rates bit high for me 51 I could be worse.
I still have pretty eyes
Like I said before living for the other gender is no longer a priority for me. I get out of bed or wake up way too often or too early just wanting to get in my rollerblades and pass a street hockey ball. It doesn't matter if I'm the pretty society says it is to be a girl. Hockey yes solo sidewalk passing is hockey for me is a rather dang good life. If I were to be found dead twig in hand you can dang well bet I died happy doing what Iove.
I told my high school senior shoeing collage of what was 4 photos but only 3 showed in my websites post. She like the cut off out picture the best saying I looked pretty young.