Once upon a time I painted while youngest was a toddler sometimes more then one a day. Now whatvi woke up to do eager before sunrise I'm unable to..without activated insurance at the moment no medical attention sought so it will mend but if ill skate no idea. But I do believe one should do a passion in life. Finding out a burden is passed when someone dies. Papers. Material crap has ne question what is the point of living if what it comes to is what I'm doing for my roomy. Probate. Sorting shredded papers. So let's art it up see if my spirit is up and up once more. These people who spy have made life also not as desirable to exist with meaning but I'm hockey. We always get back up.
Wasn't happy with matte on parts of an old painting that represented motherhood once side palm stand to look like my kiddos babe feet in prints. Happy messy accident blotches job had me spray paint black with color shift paint and look at the thick spots. That will be lovely if it dries right.
Have gald orphans to keep in their house. From Rags to Ragnorak Art Studio. Get ready. I'm. Going back to who I was before hockey to give back to my kids then when I can go back to travels let's just say I have cancer awareness games I'd like to see souvenir lamps battery candles honor such fighters to Cancer. I'm kicking you in the teeth. You took their dad and there's no monetary compensation from .insurance or retirement that could undo the load of bearing this all alone. I'd rather have him back.
I am always hockey girl up. It means and represents yes having lows thrawted by life tears thrawted heaves our throats with sobs and disheveled for awhile beings but we get back up. I've had bone contusion most likely on my ankle area no help getting their dads stuff from two storage units. One not finding a key just had staff open it now that the larger unit I've emptied it out a week ago to do the estate inventory properly I need all the time I'm granted. A county appointed lawyer for conservancy is pushing for things before my according to paperwork (us trying to save money attempting probate solo) reads 1-10-25 filing so 91 days from that is not just yet. We are grieving lost breadwinner. Throw in Shoveling with an injured foot this last week with warm up it took some time for me to stop a pipe leak in our old house. I take a evening nap because I stay up all night most days trying to get everything done. One to 4 hours is what I get daily for sleep.My daughter just missed the financial aid deadline yesterday for college me putting these material pushed importance of death not a life for her to begin as a young adult college as her father wanted….I saw at an early age her sculpting and knew….so my focus will be to fight to keep us here. Together honor her father with his name….find ways to create income….work as a family…..HRFish Artisan Child Fund was a Doing Business As DBA registered yesterday. Cancer took him away and with her creative ways, our need to stoke funds for we are hiring a lawyer now….my children will always be OK if not for being together as I hear every day them able to laugh now majority of time in their dads room…they have great love between them and in their life and if they shall be physically parted those who sought to harm will never win for my children in here ❤️ have great love for each other.My slogan for wooden jerseys I will embrace doing my multi media bling thing is to have a heart on the sleeve ‘wear your heart on your sleeve’ HRFish I bow my head to you and may we live on in our children and they continue on here in the home we built for them. So prepare for a mother to fight find funds and supporters for his greatest love and joy that Artisan daughter who always sculpted gifts to him for those big holidays. For her it came from the heart more then a store bought gift. So let's see what we can create from a tragedy. Cancer. Going to kick you in the teeth Cancer if we can pull off staying here as a family. Going to take back our life you stole Cancer. Do you hear me Cancer. If I’m not solo receiving help by my children and/or others then you have a battle on your hands. Cancer. So many have known You-Cancer-had or loss to Cancer then think together the power of unity. Long live where ever you are HRFish as my ending speech trimmed down from 26 minutes letting others know it's ending before the beginning like you said you often lived your life backwards. As I ended my speech. May we die as if we had lived.
I wasn't afraid to give back to my ex with his own funds from settlement. He had my back I had his but my heart is just a trickly thing,,,,I'm a survivor of a bit more extreme then usual domestic abuse think like a past spouse killed my pets to keep me in line…a man any man can never show a temper no matter the circumstance. Never again do I love if it shows possibility to hurt at all and so we failed to get past bumps…anyway. Maybe not for gushy stuff it was meant but he and I had the children and that might be what fate was to be-the two of us to create a family not fairy tale ending and that's alright. Right now transporting yahoos being here consistently and making great meals not venturing much working out there (for now) is good enough. I started a new art studio a few days ago that will be blending my passion of a sport…creating multi media art based on sports jerseys or others items. Fans pay buttloads for sweaty jerseys why not artistic ones. I believe it's not truly work if it's something you're passionate about. Do what you love and love what you do…once the estate is settled helping our 18 year old child finish the necessary probate process…downsize how many properties we own consolidating expenses surviving much easier on less and organize his things to rest neatly peacefully and then do the same for my end of life matters easing burden my kids could've had kick ass books and Art to get to. Yes I do.
Before he died I had written it down as an idea…. But now it has a name. The Newer Jersey Girl Art Studio….pun. new type of jersey and I'm a girl just not from New Jersey.😃
Or thoughts of when I can go practice street ball on rollerblades passing practice gets me up. On not much sleep. Hockey. Detour. Organizing my ex's stuff here when I have my own and my deceased fathers stuff today and awhile considering I'm the only parent now all the load its just detour. I'll revisit ash spots make new ones attending games sometime just detour. I loved my road life if someone's an a hole just pack up hit gas pedal.
Retreated some. Again as a preyed upon being how much mingling can one do not knowing who is fraught to be friend or foe watched by yes weirdo's in the sky true to have nothing better in life to do is not much of a life. Stalking. Add I'm swamped by the end of life stuff of my ex/roommate to find or put to order( this high schooler as sole representativeaint ain'tquite up to all the endeavors inheriting an estate as eldest child) so someday I can myself rest or find peacevhas me not too active posting. Can't lose a crowd that was never there.
I’ve known for a long time to show a message to those who got more then my bank account but also my head and heart that a complete buzz cut can show what their actions therefore mine can become….no wimpy wuss no longer but a bad ass whose door you can knock on but I do not have to answer ie returning messages letting you occupy my head space.
Do not play with a person’s head for that which sits on top of it can be shaved off and regrown but finding flaws in society that there are more then a flock of folks who find this acceptable to earn bucks or joke to out do one another wooing one nieve as I was can at times not be undone…your games. The trust issues for all our planets constitutes questioning internally if this person in front of me is good.
Who do you think you are to affect the entirety of society by this girl who once stopped talking in my childhood not restarting till I was 5. I believed in such youthful innocence that I was put here on this earth as an angel to do good. I’m going to work on believing there is still decency in this world try to become unjaded opening up my heart dismissing my head and belief in the general hope everyone has good in them. Not easy twice shy once burned….just me vs how many watchers of me and I’m not talking subscribers or viewers to www.hockeygirlup.com but a group who do not have my best interest at heart but played ever so well with it.
I’m calling you out -taking the gloves off so no more victims if I may occur from, for and by you. Hockey Girl Up. I may cry but I always get back up. Hockey Girl always gets back up.
The year of no dumb beep *$>#ery. Totally getting serious throwing that f bomb about but that's nothing compared to flopped Ticket Master agree to usage or policy or something button link so tickets could be retrieved that didn't quite click right and my two free tickets taking a Blue Jackets survey were not accessible. No hockey for me with fireworks New Years Eve but it also wasjust waste of time. Folks are on their phones too much I feel and I’m 51. I'm more then half dead not living to 102 I'm sure. That waste of time gets more irksome. Throw in my kids dads ashes were picked up by his brother a but not only next of kin since our daughter turned 18 accordingto her fsthersxlast will abd testament her uncke is booted iff as conservator and co guardian to our children. His names Terry and occasionally they met for coffee while I who offered who cooked dinners made sure depends it happens with prostrate kinda stuff no shame I nade sure before my hockey book project trips my ex had what he needsd to ease our children tending load. Offer to cllean the bum of my ex so winded from his town errand his last day home-that's what I as no longer official wife did. So it had me really raging mucho swearing my kids not bringing the new year in here with their dads ashes. In the house I chose the design by the way this house but his ashes are with the brother who he met sometimesnot even sure it was monthlyfor coffee. Yep…anyway.
The vacated since May pole barn apartment my gown kid left originally a office taxidermy thing from the prior owner I'm working on painting to have it be the hub for Holda Book Company and cement floors taking carpet out is going to be my substitute compromise cutting drives to hockey practice on a 25 mile away sidewalk as often as I'm eager to wake-up sometimesat 3 am chomping to do. Wanting to do but not always hitting sidewalk nir snooze buttonin my defense. Obviously. Weather etc but the passion to practice is there. Goal is display my art and sell either outgrown, unneeded or two deceased fathers possessions…possibly.
To be able to write and paint .Attempts to trim a 600 plus electric monthly bill with our dogs not allowed in New House now 5 years old to keep it clean with one kid sensitive to fur our dogs ave been moved from our old house to my future office heating just 2 buildings not three which also necessitates water shut down to avoid frozen pipes heat lamps are near each sink for now.
Not my specialty yet. Handy man stuff yet. Yet but so far we've had mild temps.
You can imagine when all i wanna see is the game played knoq some chomp fir fights realize to have my happy zone of, in and fir hockey I have to build my own arena find players with my philosophy not just skills but good heart —-how it seems an infeasible goal darnnit not to mention the cost of a dream. Humbug.
Art will be created on some of these road journal thoughts. As well as sights or moments on my travels….our youngest a 13 year old has always preferred environment colder then I cared for now underweight is more difficult to live live…at night house temp is turned down and until Texas this spring easily spending ten grand hoteling alot those 5 weeks giving them a chance to restart life needing to find a job to become able to get an apartment with a friend there I got spoiled sleeping on a bed not a dog floor I had done for years devoting myself to them believing I was best dog mom and lines I was not a true wife in eyes of society solidifying to myself how can I be an active mother easier accomplished staying married yet true to myself….now I know home is within. Home is the road, home is when I know I have a family kids who often my own mothers heart hurts knowing how the grandkids treat me. I don’t have to be present from my high mileage life giving us
all space while retaining space in a home to know they can still be my future.
Offset cost of nom workinf tvs at Padnos to recycle proper way. No ditch tv toss for me.
Two plasic ports one for each kidney in his back for kidneys made it difficult to rest well….i heard him moan kept a heat pad on his belly until.he needed to go to his teaching job more then I cared but he kept.it up for them The compression socks had several styles with varying pressure grades. Just one full day my good intentions were of use for he died less then two days.He deserved better then that and I hope I can not him down. .Worked all his life and the children were his world.
Full time job while duking it out with cancer some .o ths went by...now he lost that battle its time to try if we can not have her release her horse. I know receiving a letter from boarding stable days ago the new rate is soon to be $325
has her feel its more uphill .....we are down but not out.
Because I just wanna go practice passing a street hockey ball in my rollerblades..25 miles to one paved trail. I just can't wait to get up and pass not gas but a street hockey ball.
Last Official card he heard
Spreading ashes, traveling more then once I heard by some I was living the dream life. One book is Continuum Cycle where my kids visit tge spots I put my dad. After the Iowa Heartlander Family Event in Des Moines the drive home very last vacation we had before their dads passing was ashes put near two treez representing them at rest stop a bigger tree has my dad. So. Words i heard my my roommates brother, looney pummeling hammers, crazy changing my name once sincexmy divorce but supposedly 3 times I believe and so did my ex in my books.
But if one splats leaving balance beam to and fro street ball passing that angle recoups an ego. Momma Mjolinar Mia
I donated plasma 85 times to help my dad continue on his dog obsession. What's in your heart is in your heart. I love hockey
I've seen half our country this year spreading ashes and observing multiple arenas hoping bipartisan idea can find itself a home. Where i bought garden statutes to represent my children's life and .ine as a mother I'm considering selling and at that greenhouse thru had wall decor stated never regret anything that made you smile.
He was a pretty good dad, zipper bags got a few cuss words at the end him wanting to keep status quo lunches prepped, morning drop offs-me on own journey spreading my fathers ashes for a fledge of a book company.Also, giving us space to coparent for the term of absence makes the heart grow fonder. For indeed my 5 weeks away settling a grown kid leaving tge nest to settle Texan down he said he missed me and I would always have a place there in our once married home. I also think he enjoyed the load after our divorce being a single dad sole physical custody but now he's gone so is it a pipe dream- bipartisan hockey and MJ's Pummeling Hammers. Ideology that in an arena where it's cheers not jeers for all who play when so many in attendance hopefor fights. If I have my way. True Ref in life called life gave me a timeout missing Corpus Christi games my Christmas gift to myself was to be warm and visit my griwn child but roomies dealth detoured it. True. Briefly but I believed in my purpose with my heart and when you got this girls heart a d treat it well which watching games or solo streetball passing practice does to my soul then I'm not going to let you go. So. Time out. Three games missed last weekend out of state 2 were Indy Fuel and afyer game skate with Wheeling Nailers and Texas games this month. One does not have to know every days unfolding. Sometimes we just gotta get out of bed put one foot in front of the other. Steady goes the ship when winds die down. Steady she the ship goes.
Divorce was finalized August 2023 but equity division so as not to force sa home sale of house we built for them retirement account and firm who fights to not easily roll over or benefits took 5 months. So i bought a phone no man could cancel out, computer to try a blog ways. I might be setteled diwn till the kids settle in but the road knows me, it calls my name now there are two sets of daughters with fathers ashes.
They were born from two strong willed parents…. That they were and together we will remain
As I said in the video—-whoever it was with differences in writing I had lingering doubts but you know what we think is better relationships trust issues what is to be built, hoped or planned for sometimes in my nit wittedness of me I trusted too much….and a phone number with a flag as profile picture asked for money…so
Red White and Blue here hurts but with time I'll push past what our flag had become to me source of disappointment in myself for trusting those who associated it with their profile. When the rawness heals the red will be gone no longer blue and hopefully purity of white to not doubt everyone near, opens a door is part of a web who do whatever it is scammers do. Hopefully.
May my words here keep others from becoming victims. Freeing freedom art get ready because eventually paint will fly in colors of red, white and blue. Let me tell you these Lil 51 year old hockey legs can get going when they get going.
It will grow back as has spotson my scalp braided just before a few pets euthanasia. I honor their life and after passing it's snipped off and shave down strips not uncommon. Always grows back. Even hockey girls hair always get back up. Eventually
What's best for my kids is to take care of their dad who they love with all a heart no matter once words by him my heart shut down. ironic I trusted digital phone wall…so learn from me. Scammers can woo with words but until you see something with eyes maybe it's notw wrong to wall a heart…. I SEE
a person once loved struggling with cancer there's my heart scammers. There's my heart go see the wizard or know when we all due all our wrongdoing will be addressed so what you got from me is nothing compared to what you will be asking atonement from a higher source. Good luck. Can't take material stuff with you. Whose got your back by a bedside. That's the golden ticket. My ex does not have my heart silly thing I gave to you group of conning folks but he has me buying compression socks last night so when I attend hockey away I can say I tried being true to myself going after a goal watching goalies and players spreadingmy dads ashes for my book company project yet tend to an ex. What do you do for ex. If you have true ones. Not those like me that fell for BS too long. Change jobs stop telling someone is loved and just grow a heart so no one ever goes thru my pain ever.
Taking part of my power back with bipartisan idea unpleasantness of some Chirpers I stopped attending games last winter but whose to keep me away from true love but myself.
Let’s just say I wake up all too often just 4 hours sleep wanting to practice street hockey ball whatever it is I have a ball with.
So best way to remember him in his many imperfections is for me to act 15 not 51. Mom. I love you in the here and for now now is as ever more knowing how short of time it is we have. Look at your kid being a kid.
I've known for a long time to show a message to those who got more then my bank account but also my head and heart that a complete buzz cut can show what their actions therefore mine can become.. Do not play with a person's head for that which sits on top of it can be shaved off and regrown but finding flaws in a society that there are more then a flock of folks who find this acceptable to earn bucks or joke to out do one another wooing one nieve as I was can at times not be undone…the trust issues for all our planets constitutes questioning internally if this person in front of me is good. Who do you think you are to affect the entirety of society by this girl who once stopped talking in my childhood not restarting till I was 5. I believed in such youthful innocence that I was put here on this earth as an angel to do good.I'm going to work on believing there is still decency in this world try to become unjaded opening up my heart dismissing my head and belief in the general hope everyone has good in them. Not easy twice shy once burned…just me vs how many watchers of me and not talking subscribers or viewers to www.hockeygirlup.com but a group who do not have my best interest at heart but played ever so well with it.
At least twice in the few day stay in California my mascot a hummingbird showed up. Keep going. Believing in your dreams knowing some find your trekking about inspirational bad ass mid life redo and repair so many parts of a heart.
No time before Friday's game Bloomington Bisons hosting Indy Fuel wrapping so many loose ends that allows roommate tired very understanding with cancer to have less on his plate with me prepping meals for our children to eat, stuff brought off porches now snow has presented itself etc. Balance between my book projects and parent has me miss my favorite part of hockey games-warm ups- but so goes the ways of parenting and childrening our parents remains….
In my best hopes to do my road life is to afford on my tailgate tail coat hitting the metal to the pedal is my family to join me at times so their father in retirement age can do what is long strewn to be retirement bliss. Travel. Not sure if I can be successful fast enough to afford that for him Treating him to lifestyle nor if the cancer will out run the time only the fates know is when it is a time or not for beginnings and endings.
Do they not only bake us in the oven dubbed a womb but get scolded, broiled sometimes torn to raw meat by the offspring. And yet they keep trucking on with a heart built like a truck. Moms. Anyway. We have differences in political preferences but we are from the same cloth, same DNA and same hurt knowing all too well highs of parenthood also even keels out with some rather low below the girdle and belt our kiddos can dish out. Thanks pubrerty Geez. Almost sounds like meal time. In my yeti lunch cooler I have veggies mostly to snack while driving on this weekend new to me Illinois team and arena. Mess patrol in mess hall Cruiser.
First go visiting USA Hockey Arena in Plymouth tonight. Yes. I was late fitting a two plus hour trek each way north to check on the once property in the divorce decree for I had a year given in writing allowing me grieving time me for my deceased father’s possession to be handled. Been a year in August and with the roommate ie technically ex spouse bout of cancer removed returning metamorphosizing rather quickly since August surgery I think I need our daughter who turns 18 in December and is on the deed for this property and I’m guessing inherits the land bought to house my once near homeless dad if it wasn’t for us she would be acquiring burden I need to work on so she doesn’t have my dads mess and her own fathers issues….besides building blog life to fund my bipartisan ideology of MJ’s Pummeling Hammers gaining supporters to teach children morals I believe good sportsmanship will deter some to grow into the life of crime. It’s out there…good sportsmanship I saw some players shake the refs hands after tonight’s game…some arenas refs get booed by crowd attendees. I never understood that my closest arena Kwings booers refs can make bad calls for both sides. Equal why boo them. Refs to me always on their to to avoid puck hits or players are very talented they skate beautifully btw. Anyway. There is hope hearing a young player for intermission comment a play was good one and work also to do hearing a different youth chant a couple things…balance I suppose in our evolution equation but I still think we can do better….
Long before I saw the Heartlanders an Iowa sticker was placed on my driver side mirror for farming was such an engrained source to my pa…just seems I associate farming in particular to that state. So yes. I placed my father there multiple times from my first trip out in March out West seeing Utah Grizzlies then West Coast hockey to public events Heartlanders and it holds a place near my heart much as Wheeling West Virginia.
Yes. I did put my father here by a tree work sometimes first then play.
What a find. I’m trying to work educational angles into these journeys but I shall not complain going loopity loop either as I return my father to the earth rotating life and death cycle.
Remember in Jurassic Park just because they could bring dinosaurs back doesn't that they should've. Well. Just because you can hack phones, bug areas or instill tracking does not mean you should. I am someone's daughter and someone's mom. Let that sink into you.
But I also don't roll over for long i do get lows and suicide has been a back shadow in my mind since 14 but I am a fighter thankfully not a chirper who eventually always gets back up. I have to. No one should go through what romance scammers inflict. No one should think they are better off desf leaving this crazy ride of life sooner then later.