So much papers to sort, find and organize obtaining outside employment I can’t do that at the moment….I’m finding in paper piles piddly things from decades ago with some rather important papers or to do lists that may be clues to passwords and accounts…just can’t go work at a food take out spot and get his affairs in order .

They don’t even want me to

buy a pack of gum…forgoing their

dad’s once daily packed Turkey sub

from Family Fare or DW deli section

starting to eat school meals appealing enough for them :) not

happy at all if I bought anything since he’s passed..honorable of them but very heavy

to know what weighs on their mind.

with their dad’s Car recently two months ago rear ended Mr.T they called his Tesla was replaced with another one…so that is a car that comes with a hefty price tag but he worked for almost 50 years and that was his treat in life…so they want to keep it and sense of him for that is where they spent every day practically with him….not me. Kids I often feel that sides must be chosen or our society somewhat conditions us that if one is an ex that animosity should be attached if two folks no longer are. So I had kept myself on travels spreading my fathers ashes attending hockey games across our country to observe and gather or Garner future bipartisan support along with not causing waves occurs cohabitating coparentors I swear kitchens are not made or big enough for two cooks.

Ten months of travel….freeing freeway I call it…..I heal best on my own…happiest on the road..Medically underweight it is difficult to be comfortable here when the youngest in the winter can get by with fleece hoodies or has a fan if not the car AC on one year during the winter….I can crank up the heat and the music and be quite content so this was the most living I have done in my 51 years on this planet…so I will have to travel less or get them on board if there can be proven enough folks believe in my book company that will be trickier then heck to write if I can earn a keep as a content creator but that is to be seen.. another day another worry to worry for a spell later.

Was the belief that we could come together

and just appreciate those that can play not

finding to show passion fans had to blow steam of jaunts, obscenities, I know they fight in hockey

but collectively when we have good spirits, energy in a mass of collected bench sitting bottoms we could do so much as a whole raising so much power to be the best humanoids there be..world we want for our children.

In a challenge to gather wind needed to speak I heard him say laying on his bed…I’m Sorry Alora I’m Sorry Flint I tried…Appaently returning home he had to pull over starting to black out. Mission was him fetching paperwork from one of his many doctors that would’ve given him disabilty protection to collect full pay not teaching able to fight the cancer better then next semester retiring but he didn’t make it. Those kids he had late in his life made his world…absolutely loved them and I hope not to disappoint that 84 year old soul I hoped I could’ve provided family trips paid for by a blog life letting him finally enjoy being and being in more moments then working his 50 almost years at KVCC. I hope his soul can rest or do R&R now…he deserved it…my heart is a very tricky thing not to maim at times so he lost it with words but may my words here recapture some of that damage if his children can gather support their worries eased.

My once art studio Holde Thy Love and Art Studio has many editions of photography related collecting dust if they weren’t bagged or covered I’d put before the public as legitimate way to serve as a collection plate. My name once had Fish in it but I don’t believe in cat fishing…no way no how One works or does with out but breaking hearts is not for me…anyway will need to get photos of photography and my multi media too…until then consider this a wiggle of a worm baiting you to want to see more…